This is a collection of occasional random facts, notes, unpolished personal opinions and obseravtions related to my work in divorce litigation. They are here not so much as useful information, but to provide food for thought and an opportunity to look at the divorce process from different angles and multiple points of view.
Divorce is a complex process and a drastic change in lives of all its participants. It has long lasting repercussions in peoples' lives which should be considered at the start (but usually are not).
You can also find an expanded and illustrated version of this blog at: https://www.facebook.com/DivorceCaliforniaStyle?ref=bookmarks
|Posted on August 14, 2018 at 8:25 PM||comments (10)|
"We need a concept of a terminated marriage that doesn’t damn it—one that helps to create emotional coherence and narrative continuity. Ending a marriage goes beyond the signing of divorce papers. And divorce is not the end of a family; it’s a reorganization."
From: "The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity" By Esther Perel
|Posted on July 24, 2018 at 8:20 PM||comments (1)|
"In a cruel cultural twist, just as we have increasingly looked to our marriage to help us fulfill higher-level needs, we have decreasingly invested the time and energy required for the marriage to meet these expectations. According to one major study, the amount of time that childless Americans spent alone with their spouse declined from thirty-five to twenty-six hours per week from 1975 to 2003, with much of this decline resulting from an increase in hours spent at work. The decline for Ame...Read Full Post »
|Posted on September 30, 2015 at 6:15 PM||comments (2)|
" Mark Granovetter says that modern institutional networks are marked by “the strength of weak ties”, by which he partly means that fleeting forms of association are more useful to people than long-term connections, and partly that strong social ties like loyalty have ceased to be compelling.
Strong ties depend, by contrast, on long association. And more personally they depend on a willingness to make commitments to others.
Detachment and supe...Read Full Post »
|Posted on September 10, 2015 at 7:10 PM||comments (0)|
I am working on separate property tracing, which presents an opportunity for bitching about unexpected negative impacts of technological changes on people's endeavours. Here is how it applies to tracing:
Separate property tracing employs "follow the money" strategy and its success depends on the availability of documents that show the cash flow. No documents, no tracing, no proof there was and still remains any separate property. Most people do not keep statements from the...Read Full Post »
|Posted on August 24, 2015 at 8:30 PM||comments (0)|
Child support payors (mostly fathers in my experience) often defend their desire to decrease or eliminate payments arguing that the money is not spent on the children's needs alone. This is an erroneous line of reasoning at best and a disingenuous one at worst.
Yes, the payment may be higher than the combined expenses on children's food, clothes and entertainment. But spending on children does not end with these items. The biggest overlooked ingredient is housing cost.... Read Full Post »
|Posted on August 24, 2015 at 7:45 PM||comments (0)|
"Child support is a continuing sore spot in most coparenting relationships, as mothers often feel - AND THE DATA SUBSTANTIATE - that child support is inadequate, and fathers often feel that they are contributing more than their fair share. ... Of the millions of women who are entitled to child support, fewer than half receive payments as ordered, about one third are paid a fraction of what they have been promised, and one fourth of the women get nothing. Wealthier men do not have a better rec...Read Full Post »
|Posted on August 18, 2015 at 7:45 PM||comments (0)|
From CA Code of Civil Procedure.
In plain English:
If a debtor is in arrears and pays some amount towards the satisfaction of the debt, in all situations except support arrears the amount of payment is first applied to accrued interest and then to the principal of the debt.
If the money is paid towards support arrears, it is first applied towards the principal and then to accrued interest.
In the first situation interest keeps accruing because when the pay...Read Full Post »
|Posted on August 15, 2015 at 7:50 PM||comments (0)|
"For both men and women, marriage in middle or later life has an additional and very important function: it provides an internal buffer against the anxieties of aging, of being old and alone, and of facing the inevitability of death. It also provides external supports to cope with the increasing disabilities and infirmities of old age. When the struscture is removed, they are left feeling extremely vulnerable, and the external symptoms of physical deterioration are symbolic of internal confli...Read Full Post »