Irina Anissimova, CPA, CFF
This is a collection of occasional random facts, notes, unpolished personal opinions and obseravtions related to my work in divorce litigation. They are here not so much as useful information, but to provide food for thought and an opportunity to look at the divorce process from different angles and multiple points of view.
Divorce is a complex process and a drastic change in lives of all its participants. It has long lasting repercussions in peoples' lives which should be considered at the start (but usually are not).
You can also find an expanded and illustrated version of this blog at: https://www.facebook.com/DivorceCaliforniaStyle?ref=bookmarks
|Posted on August 1, 2015 at 6:25 PM||comments (2)|
Divorce has repercussions way beyond the relationship of the two people with "irreconcilable differences". It is often overlooked (at least at the beginning) that family members and friends end up being divided between the former spouses and/or lost altogether. New friends and relations are also acquired, whether one wants and likes it or not.
These losses and acquisitions are hard to evaluate and balance out, especially for children.
|Posted on July 11, 2015 at 4:10 PM||comments (0)|
Yesterday chat with my hairdresser which goes with a hair cut made me think of a triangle wife-husband-mistress (or husband-wife-lover) and who is to blame for it. I have been on both wife and mistress sides of it myself and I have talked to many men who found themselves in the middle, so here is my "expert opinion" on the issue:
First, the party responsible for this whole arrangement is the cheating spouse and not the other two participants. This arrangement does not go with a highly c...Read Full Post »
|Posted on June 30, 2015 at 4:15 PM||comments (0)|
Herds of relationship gurus and tons of books on how to improve one's marriage have made us believe that we can control the progress and development of our marriages.
What is overlooked (or disregarded) is that it takes two to tango: if one's partner does not reciprocate, or takes one's efforts for granted, or misinterprets them, there is absolutely NOTHING one can do about it. All individual efforts are useless if the other partner does not want to carry his/her half of the relat...Read Full Post »
|Posted on June 15, 2015 at 4:10 PM||comments (1)|
Very often a divorce is triggered by an affair. There are two types: a one night stand and a long term entanglement.
A short term type can be successfully hidden and, if accidentally uncovered, can be eventually disregarded by the offended spouse (after some fuss) - it is, after all, SHORT TERM, which means no one involved has any expectations or commitments, it is, therefore, reasonably easy for the guily party to give up and everybody in his/her sane mind knows that temptations are ha...Read Full Post »
|Posted on June 8, 2015 at 5:35 PM||comments (0)|
Every divorcing couple with children has to deal with timeshare and visitation for the non-custodial parent. I do not get involved in custody battles, my role is limited to an occasional calculation of timeshare but I do see a tendency to consider 50/50 timeshare as a desirable arrangement.
The main argument in favor of such split is parents' right to be involved in the upbringing of their children. The push comes from payors of child support - they want to reduce the payment and to get...Read Full Post »
|Posted on May 19, 2015 at 5:45 PM||comments (0)|
Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale lists "death of a spouse" as a most stressful event in one's life. Divorce comes second. I sometimes think that the order in many situations may as well be reversed.
At least death is final and one does not need to continue maintaining some sort of a relationship with the ex-spouse for many more years until the children are grown.